


Telling Mallory

by ellaaa25



Series: Staying Strong [4]
Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: F/F, Family, Mama Press, Truth
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-30
Updated: 2019-08-30
Packaged: 2020-09-30 14:33:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,699
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20448680
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ellaaa25/pseuds/ellaaa25
Summary: Set during Triple Trouble - Christen lets Mallory know the full story about what happened to Tobin and why the team does things a certain way





	Telling Mallory

**Telling Mallory**

Christen had called Mallory and asked her to meet for afternoon tea the day before they had the gender reveal party. The teenage forward hadn’t asked again about their history, but Christen and Tobin could tell it was bugging her.

Mallory was already waiting at the coffee shop when Christen came in. She was just over halfway through her pregnancy and she was glowing. Mallory knew better than to say anything about how big she was (she had seen Tobin chew out Ashlyn for it before) so she just stood up and hugged her team mum.

They caught up a bit, with Mallory telling Christen all about UCLA and her friends while Christen gave her updates on the babies and Tobin. Tobin was ridiculously overprotective of Christen and the babies and she doted on Christen hand and foot. She was still getting monthly check-ups to ensure she was still in remission. Christen thought it was a bit too often, but everyone liked the piece of mind they got when she just sent a thumbs up emoji every month. It was Tobin’s way of keeping everyone informed but not actually talking about cancer.

Mallory had never asked Tobin about her cancer and her fight. She had heard about it through social media and had been so happy when she announced she was in remission. Tobin was her hero and she had stuttered through meeting her at her first camp. Tobin just chuckled and gave her a hug before going to greet the rest of the girls. Mallory looked up to Tobin and her strength was inspiring. It was part of the reason she was so confused that Tobin wouldn’t explain why they hadn’t told anyone they were trying. She lived and breathed inclusiveness and honesty.

Christen watched as the younger girl fought with herself. She knew that Mallory was inquisitive and hated not knowing something when everyone else did. Christen reached out and put her hand over the teenagers. Mallory looked up and saw the compassion in Christens eyes and knew she was safe to ask anything she wanted. “What did you mean when you said you had history? And that you didn’t know what your reaction would be if the IVF didn’t work? I don’t get why that would factor into telling us that you were trying for kids. We would have all been there in a heartbeat.”

Christen nodded and squeezed Mallory’s hand. “I know you would have. And Tobin does as well. But it isn’t that simple kid. A lot of crap has happened since London and we honestly weren’t sure how we would go.”

Mallory was frustrated. “But why? I know it is private, but Tobin said she didn’t want to know how crap the world is and that in some ways it is worse than the cancer. I just, I just don’t understand, and I feel like it would be something that would really clear a lot of stuff up around the team.”

Christen smiled sadly. “I get you are frustrated, and there is a reason I am here to tell you. Tobin doesn’t ever talk about this. Ever. Very few people know, including some of the squad. The ones who know were sworn to secrecy and I don’t think they even talk about it in private. Tobin will never talk about it. So, you need to promise me that you never bring it up to Tobin. And you never speak about it to any except me.”

Mallory promised and Christen got into it. They were in the back corner of the quiet café, but she still took care not to be overheard. “You know how the team has a rule that no one goes out alone? Minimum of two people at all times?” Mallory nodded. “That rule didn’t come into place until after London. After they won the Olympic Gold, most of the girls were out celebrating. I was back at the village with Carli. Tobin had texted me that she was wiped and heading back to the hotel. We didn’t have that rule then. If we had it probably wouldn’t have happened.”

Christen took a breath before she continued. “Tobin was assaulted on the way home. Four guys pulled her into an alleyway and raped her. She had accidently dialled me when she was pulled down. I heard the whole thing, even as Carli and I searched everywhere for her. We found her in an alley about a kilometre from the village, concussed, bloody and bruised. Carli and I got her to the hospital, called Pia and Dawn. Tobin got treatment and was released. Tobin and I hid out in a room at the village under quarantine for a stomach bug. It kept everyone away and Tobin was free to grieve. No one knew except me, Carli, Pia and Dawn.”

Christen saw that Mallory was upset. “Do you want me to go on? It doesn’t get a lot better honestly.”

Mallory composed herself and asked Christen to continue.

“Tobin was withdrawn, and she didn’t talk to anyone. She came back with me to California and we spent 7 weeks just trying to get comfortable around each other. Tobin gave me an out actually. She said we could just be friends and that I didn’t have to deal with all the drama. I told her I was in it for the long haul.”

“One night, Tobin got this horrible pain in her stomach and we went to the hospital. They admitted her and ran some tests. It turned out that she was pregnant but had a miscarriage. They saw something iffy with her blood work and ran some more tests. 24 hours later she found out she had cancer again.” Christen wiped her eyes. “In 24 hours she went from dealing with a traumatic event, to losing a baby and being diagnosed with brain cancer. Losing the baby and the rape is why we didn’t tell anyone. Tobin and I were terrified we were going to lose another baby before 12 weeks so we didn’t even tell anyone we were trying. It was our cross to bear, so to speak.”

Mallory was quiet and Christen went and hugged the teenager. She cried a little bit but quickly got herself under control. “It makes sense, I guess. Is that why you and Tobin never drink?”

Christen nodded. “Yeah. The smell of it can bring back memories. The team is generally really good about not drinking around us. The ones who know at least. It is also why Tobin jumps at unexpected contact and occasionally refuses to be touched. You can scare her easily if you just tap her on the shoulder and some days’ she just feels uncomfortable around everyone. It is why everyone alerts Tobin if they are behind her, so she doesn’t turn and see something unexpected. It is also why there is an unwritten rule that you don’t prank her by jumping out of a closet. Kelley did it once and Tobin had a massive flashback. She hid in the bathroom and Ashlyn had to break down a door to get to her.”

Mallory groaned. “I feel like such a shit bringing it up now. How is it not public knowledge? Did they find out who did it?”

“No, we haven’t heard anything about it. We asked that they only contact us if they know who it was, and they were being prosecuted. If they did, we would know and the whole world would know what happened that day.” Christen said.

“And then after that she got cancer. How did she hide it from everyone for over a year? I’ve heard stories about Tobin when she was sick, and it is like they are two different people.”

Christen chuckled. “She was. Before she told everyone, she had shut them out. She didn’t want to deal with their worry, she wanted to protect them. She would get up at 6am and do yoga with me before breakfast and not return to her room until just before curfew. It got to the stage where they just roomed her with myself or Carli because we were the only ones that knew. Tobin was even careful about talking to me in public because she didn’t want to the team to bug me about her. The whole time she was sick, she was looking out for everyone else. After she told them and let them in, she went back to being the happy Tobin, not dark and twisty.”

Mallory could see Tobin doing that. She always put others before herself. “Why wasn’t she rooming with Abby? It is kind of whispered about, but no one really says what happened. Just that Tobin was freaked in the middle of the night and went to Carli. Next thing they knew, Tobin was rooming with Carli and Hope was in with Abby.”

“You know more than you are meant to kid.” Christen playfully growled. She knew what had happened but not many did. “It was just after London and Tobin was still processing. Pia had implemented a roommate rotation policy, and Tobin was generally in with Carli, Hope or Christie. The three of them were calm and kept to themselves. But there was a week long camp that she was paired with Abby for. Abby wasn’t the calmest roommate and kept pranking Tobin. She was on edge and Abby kept pushing her. Abby had a bit of a drinking problem and the smell made Tobin have flashbacks, so she tried to stay out of there as much as possible. Abby had been picking on Tobin all day, pranking her, scaring her, touching her when she didn’t expect it. Everything you could do to set off a victim with a bit of PTSD, Abby did. Dawn told her to stop, Pia told her to stop. She didn’t and on the fifth night Tobin had a nightmare. It was about 4am and she hadn’t been sleeping well, she wasn’t comfortable in the room. Abby had been drinking the night before and Tobin could smell it. Tobin woke up from her nightmare but thought she was still in it. Abby tried to stop her from leaving and Tobin saw her as her attacker. She ploughed right through Abby and ran out the door. The noise woke up most of the girls, but Tobin had split. Carli found her on the fire escape shaking. She took her back to her room and put Tobin into bed before going to see Jill. The room was cleared of all Tobin’s stuff and the alcohol thrown out. Abby wasn’t reprimanded officially because Tobin refused to make a complaint or explain what happened, but they never roomed together again. After that, Tobin was generally roomed with Carli. They stayed away from each other.”

Mallory was astounded. “She went through all that shit and she is still Tobin?”

Christen smiled sadly. “Can you see why she didn’t want to break your heart and tell you? She is still Tobin, she just has a few rough patches. Yes, it is shit but she just wants you to treat her the same. It is why she doesn’t talk about it publicly and that no one brings it up. Our history, her history, is filled with so much loss and sadness. That is why we didn’t tell anyone we were trying. The history shows us that it generally goes pretty badly. We just wanted to keep it as normal as possible.”

Mallory nodded and stood up to hug Christen properly. They held each other tight for a couple of minutes before Christen invited her over for dinner and a movie with Tobin. Mallory quickly agreed and they drove to their house. Christen opened the door to find Tobin singing and dancing while making a stew for dinner. Christen called to her so she didn’t surprise her and Tobin spun around smiling. She came over and hugged her wife and Mallory before shooing them to the couch. She quickly finished making dinner and set it up to stew before she plopped in between the pair on the couch.

“Have a good afternoon?” She asked, well aware of what they had been talking about.

Mallory nodded. “Yea it was fine. It was great to catch up before tomorrow.”

Tobin smiled. “It would be. Wanna watch a movie before dinner? It has a couple hours left to cook before it is ready.”

Christen thought it was a great idea and the three of them snuggled together on the couch. Mallory knew she had to process what she had learnt, but right now, she could see why Tobin didn’t want to tell her. Tobin was happy and smiling, and who would want to relive the time when you weren’t.

Mallory snuggled tight to Tobin and Tobin held the teen tight. It was the most recognition Tobin would give to Mallory about what she had just learnt but that was fine. Mallory knew how Tobin was and Christen was there for her whenever she needed her. Tobin would talk to her wife and would do her best to never worry anyone again. It was just who she was.

Just before dinner, Mallory went to the bathroom and Christen and Tobin were left alone. “Who is asking her?” Tobin asked.

Christen shrugged. “I think you should. It will mean a lot coming from, especially after today.”

Tobin just nodded and said “Okay” before she went and sorted out dinner. She was putting the plates on the table when Mallory came back and asked what she could do to help.

“Nothing kid. I got it. Sit with Chris and I will be there in thirty seconds.”

They three of them were chatting about the NWSL and the finals that were coming before Tobin took her chance. “So Mal?” Christen got her phone out and started recording, knowing someone was going to end up in tears or on the floor.

“Yea Tobi?”

“Chris and I were talking about who the godparents were going to be, and we realised something. We didn’t think godparent was good enough for you.” Tobin said.

Mallory was confused. “Okay?”

“We just love you, and we joke about you being our kid around the team, but would you mind if you were like a big sister to them? Someone they could look up to and stuff? You don’t have to, you just be cool Aunty Mal, but if you want you could be more than that? It is totally up to you, but we want you to be around for the kid and not feel weird.” Tobin had started to babble towards the end of it and had broken eye contact, feeling awkward. The next thing she knew, a Mallory shaped bullet was knocking her out of her chair and onto the floor.

“Oh my God! Yes absolutely! They will know all about Mama Bear and the fun things. I will be the best sister ever because they will only ever know the best from. This is the best! Thanks Tobi!” Mallory was yelling and squeezing the flailing Tobin. Christen was laughing and had caught the whole thing on video.

“Mal, honey, help her up!” That was the last thing Christen filmed before shutting it off.

“Oh shit! Sorry Tobi. I am just so excited.” Mal helped the older midfielder up and then hugged her again, before moving over to Christen and hugging her too. “Thanks for trusting me with this.”

Christen released the girl from the hug. “You, kind of are our kid though. We want you in their life and not just like everyone else in the team will be. We love you kid, and our kid wil love you too.”

Mallory just nodded and wiped her tears away. Christen and Tobin gave her one last hug before they went back to dinner and were joking about the other girls on the team. It was a family dinner, and it felt natural and chill. Mallory was a good kid and Christen and Tobin did their best to keep her out of trouble. They hoped she would do the same for their kids.

**Author's Note:**

> What do you think?


End file.
